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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25063678">Love Me (Love Me Not)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mix_kid_ao3/pseuds/mix_kid_ao3'>mix_kid_ao3</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Geralt Whump Week (The Witcher), Grooming, Hurt Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:35:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,479</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25063678</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mix_kid_ao3/pseuds/mix_kid_ao3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As a child Geralt thought himself cursed to be unlovable. Meeting Vesemir changed that, or, at least he thought it did.</p><p>Written for Day 3: Curses of Geralt Whump Week</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Original Character(s), Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Vesemir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Love Me (Love Me Not)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The main points of this fic were developed between no_notea , nanero11 , spencerb , swordgirl , sevent and myself in a DD;DNE server, I adore them please go read their fics uwu</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As a child Geralt thought himself cursed to be unlovable. </p><p>Visenna made it abundantly clear that she held no feelings of affection for her unwanted bastard, and there was little hope for Geralt if his own mother could not love him. His assessment was only supported when she abandoned him on the side of the road.</p><p>Geralt’s reasoning faltered after he met Vesemir. The witcher was scary at first, but he told Geralt he was perfect, a blessing. Vesemir’s special boy. Geralt had never been called special before, and he found the words came with a certain rush. Vesemir often came with sweets and presents and words of adoration. When Geralt asked why, Vesemir said he couldn’t help but love his special boy, and Geralt thought the curse must have been lifted. </p><p>As Geralt grew Vesemir began showing his love in other ways. He touched Geralt often, kept hands on his shoulders and hips, ran calloused fingers through the boy’s auburn curls. Sweets after lessons became lunch dates and private training. Some nights he was brought to sleep in Vesemir’s room after the other boys nodded off, though he always woke up in his own bed.</p><p>By the time Geralt was eight he knew better than to brag about Vesemir’s affection. He was special, and if he told the other boys they would grow jealous. Not wanting to upset them, Geralt kept Vesemir’s love to himself. </p><p>The Trial of Grasses came and went. Boys seemed to drop like flies, their last breaths spent in agony. Geralt survived, and was given a room to himself. When his skin stopped screaming Vesemir came to him. He praised Geralt for surviving, told him how well he had done. Geralt’s fever had lasted half as long as the other boys’, no doubt because he was so special. </p><p>Vesemir congratulated Geralt by showing him a new kind of love. </p><p>This love was not nearly so nice as any other the witcher had shown him. Vesemir’s hands lingered in places they had never touched in more than passing, opened him up and made space where there was none. His hands were chased by other things, and it was in filling him that Vesemir showed Geralt how loved he was. </p><p>The hurt that followed served as a reminder. Geralt was special, and it was because of that he was loved. He was a boy apart from all the rest, a present for Vesemir and none other. As Geralt grew older and Vesemir showed him ever more painful love the concept lost its appeal. He wished he were still cursed to be unlovable, or maybe, he thought, what made Vesemir love him was a parting curse from Visenna. </p><p>The Trial of Dreams remade Geralt, and it seemed Vesemir loved him all the more for it. The changes to his body attracted the attention of the masters as well, and eventually, they too came to think of Geralt as special. Vesemir whispered as much into Geralt’s skin the night before he was to take the experimental mutagens. The news was chased by affirmations that Geralt was better than all the rest, that Vesemir had known he was special before anyone else. Above all, he promised that no matter how many people came to realize how wondrous Geralt was, he would always belong to Vesemir. </p><p>The older witcher delighted in the additional mutations. He slapped and sucked color back into Geralt’s skin until the boy’s ass and chest were stained purple. He reveled in the way Geralt squirmed, sensitivity heightened past that of even the keenest witchers. Following the accidental discovery of Geralt’s ability to purr the man fixated in it, doing everything in his power to incite the reaction. Every new trait called to Vesemir’s hands, mouth, cock, until the attention grew overwhelming. It seemed the only change Vesemir did not like was the snow-white of his hair.</p><p>Still, there was little Geralt could do to escape his surrogate, save surrounding himself in other’s attention, until he grew old enough to begin the Path. Vesemir made case after case to keep him from leaving Kaer Morhen, but eventually, the excuses ran dry. The night before his departure Geralt was called to his teacher’s room.</p><p>Nerves followed him the entire way and were justified by the end of the evening. Vesemir tied him to the bed, loved him until the fire was nothing but embers, and even then did not let him sleep. He took a paddle to Geralt’s ass, a goodbye present, and made him promise to return in the winter. It was only after Geralt’s sobs exhausted themselves to whimpers that Vesemir untied him. The man ran a hand through his charge’s hair and kissed the tears away as if he hadn’t been the one responsible for them. </p><p> With a sore arse and trembling hands, Geralt left Kare Morhen for the first time since his initial arrival. The world was wider than he remembered, and within days he missed the security the keep provided. The hate of humans was something Geralt was unaccustomed to. He had been warned of their scorn, however, experiencing it first hand made the familiar feelings of rejection stir in his chest. </p><p>Geralt was young and inexperienced. As such, he struggled. The quest to find work was far more lackluster than he had assumed it to be and the steep cost of living as a witcher quickly depleted his funds. With no money and the naivete of youth, Geralt was easily swayed to giving favors in exchange for beds. It was not new to him, the love tavern owners showed him when he had no coin to offer. </p><p>While not new to him, men’s attentions were the source of much distress over the following months. He was Vesemir’s child surprise, Vesemir’s special boy. It seemed wrong to receive the same love his teacher had shown him in quiet bedrooms, secluded stables, and armory corners, from strangers. They did not know him enough to love him half so much as Vesemir, so how could they show him the same affections. </p><p>Passively, Geralt considered once more if Visenna had cursed him to be the object of so many men’s love. </p><p>Geralt made his way back to Kaer Morhen for the winter and found Vesemir waiting for him. He was greeted with kisses and wandering hands in the stable, then brought to an emptied wing of the keep. In the most secluded room, Geralt was tied to a cross and asked, “Were you good while you were away?”</p><p>The confession left him easily. No, he had not been good. </p><p>The punishment left Geralt sobbing, lash after lash overlapped across the raw skin of his back. He was Vesemir’s, and no one else was to love him like Vesemir, just as Geralt had thought. He knew he deserved the pain, punishment naturally followed misdoings, and the guilt festered in him the rest of the winter.</p><p>In the spring Vesemir paddled his ass and sent him on his way, a renewed determination to avoid the affections of others in his mind. He managed, just barely, and returned home expecting praise. When he was tied to the cross and the question was asked Geralt was able to say yes. He had been good, he’d saved himself for Vesemir and Vesemir alone. </p><p>His answer had been too sure, Vesemir had said, clearly a lie. </p><p>Geralt was whipped again, made to repent for infractions he had not committed. His pleading made no difference, and when it was over Geralt’s back was pressed into the sheets so Vesemir could show him the love his specialness afforded him. </p><p>“<i>Yours, only yours, only for you</i>,” Geralt promised. </p><p>For three years Geralt was true, and for three years he was disbelieved. Geralt had been good and no mercy had come of it. </p><p>Defiance reared its head and Geralt followed. Vesemir had kept Geralt’s hair short, a cache of reasons as to why he found the white repulsive, and so Geralt stopped cutting it. It mattered not whether Geralt kept himself from other’s love or not, he was beaten the same, so he sought out those that would give it to him. </p><p>It was a prostitute that told him love was not what Vesemir had to give. The witcher had given sex, and sex was a far cry from an act of love on its own. Anyone could have sex with a person, but circumstances determined what sex meant and nothing about what Vesemir had done meant love. The realization that Vesemir had fucked Geralt, raped him, but never shown him the love he claimed to have filled Geralt with a hate so strong it startled him. </p><p>If Vesemir loved him as he said Geralt did not want his love and so, if he was not already cursed to be so, Geralt would make himself unlovable.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I might flesh this out into a multi-chapter fic at some point. I have a lot of feelings about Geralt/Vesemir.</p></blockquote><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
  <ul>
    <li>
        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25068259">like sand, slowly shifting (or ash in the wind)</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForestDivinity/pseuds/forestdivinity">forestdivinity (ForestDivinity)</a>
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